Hello, I’m Alex Prince, the creator of Damsel Divorcée. I have started this blog to help women like you, who are in the decision making process, have filed, or are already legally divorced, to overcome the heartache and live a happy life once again. I am a living testament that, not only can you survive divorce, but you can become a better, stronger woman because of it. We are not damsels in distress, who need a man to save us, we can be our own heroes and save ourselves!
A Tale of Two Divorces
I’m guessing that you may have come here to learn a little about me and what has inspired this blog? Well, I’ll dive right into it. I’m a two-time divorcée; It’s a major accomplishment, I know! At the ripe old age of twenty, I naively said, “I Do”, for the first time. I met my first husband when I was seventeen and he was twenty-three. It wasn’t love at first sight, but his alluring personality and jubilant sense of humor pulled me in quickly. This was the first time I experienced falling in love and it was passionate and fiery. Who would have guessed that fighting every day and breaking up on a monthly basis while dating, were not the recipe for a healthy marriage? I was young, madly in love, and very ignorant. After two dramatic years of dating we got married. Not surprisingly, the fighting resumed quickly after the wedding, as a matter of fact we fought every day of the honeymoon.
We were together for a total of eight years, married six, and I honestly believe that he never really loved me; he loved the idea of the wife he could mold me into. I’m not quite sure why I allowed myself to be in such a controlling relationship for so long, but we all make mistakes when we are young. My Mom always says, “Love is blind, but the neighbors aren’t”. If I would have listened to my friends and family, I may have been able to save myself the years of turmoil I endured, but love makes us do stupid things. At the age of 25 I finally started to realize that I was deeply unhappy and couldn’t be someone I wasn’t any longer. I was immature and found less than ideal ways to show how miserable I was, which inspired my ex to file for divorce.
Devastated by my first divorce, I experienced severe depression and anxiety and didn’t even want to be alive. Every day I would wake up crying, go to work and barely make it through the day, only to return home and fall to the floor crying the second the door shut behind me. For the first time in my life, I had to figure out how to live on my own. I had no idea what I was doing or who I was. At the time, it felt like the world was ending.
After a few months of feeling hopeless I decided to venture into the exciting world of online dating, in hopes of finding someone who could ease my pain. After a year of awkward dates, insane men, and undesired dick pics, I decided to give up on dating. Right before closing my account, a man asked me out and I agreed to give it one last try.
My last online date resulted in husband number two. Needless to say, the date went well. We met for drinks at noon on a Saturday and ended up talking for five hours. He was charming, intelligent, and hilarious. I had never met a man who could make me laugh so hard, until meeting him. Best of all, I could be myself completely. After two weeks of dating he asked me to move in with him and we started saying, “I love you”. (Moving this quickly, my friends, is a RED FLAG!!!) This was the first time he had ever been in love, and he was clingy and a little overbearing at times, but I kind of liked it. He was my previous husband’s opposite in every way, which was so refreshing. We never fought and he genuinely loved me for who I was. Being with him, made me realize that what I had experienced in my first marriage wasn’t love, it was emotional abuse.
You’re probably wondering why I would leave such a wonderful relationship. Well, have you ever been with someone who checks all of the boxes, yet it still feels like something is missing? During our dating years I wish I would have listened to my intuition, because things never felt quite right. I knew the passion wasn’t there for me, but I thought that was because I had already been in love once. I assumed that love could never be as exciting or intense as it is the first time you fall. I broke up with him a couple of times to see if being away from him or dating other people would make me feel better, but both times I missed him and felt terrible for hurting him. After the second time of getting back together, he proposed and we got married. Almost immediately after, I learned that I had made a monumental mistake.
Although he was my best friend and I loved him as a person, I began to face the reality that I wasn’t in love with him. Shit hit the fan and I learned that he had some qualities that I had never seen before, of which were very unappealing. We both did things that were less than admirable while deciding if we should remain married, but I realized that I couldn’t live in a loveless marriage that was filled with lies. I filed for divorce after just one year of marriage.
Ugly Endings Lead to Beautiful Beginnings
Although it was extremely painful to go through two divorces, I learned so much about myself. I made mistakes while trying to find my way through those dark days, but I also discovered a lot of strategies, hobbies, and life-long friends along the way. I have become a successful teacher, woman, friend, girlfriend, and mother because of my past. Now that I have found my happiness, I hope that I can help you to find yours! Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you and please stay tuned for future posts for advice, encouragement, or just an escape from reality for a few minutes. I’d love to hear your story or answer any questions you may have in the comments!